Golf's lack of self-esteem

Golf needs a therapist, someone to tell it that it's okay, it's as good as other sports, and it doesn't need to chastise itself because it doesn't have a post-season.

The therapist could remind golf that it was born in Scotland hundreds of years ago, and has maintained that tradition, thank you very much, down through the centuries. It's been the sport of kings, unlike baseball, basketball, or football. At present, it's a game played recreationally by more people than any other sport. A good therapist would also point out that golf's majors are some of the most beloved sporting events in human history.

The therapist should also tell golf that the behavior of one of its allegedly best friends, Tim Finchem, actually shows him to be no friend at all. Finchem acts like there's something wrong with golf, that there's something that needs to be "fixed."
Finchem whispers into golf's ear that it needs to be more exciting, and get more people to watch it on television.
Golf thinks, "But I have four majors from spring through the end of the summer. That's a lot of exciting, world-class competition. You mean I should give MORE?"
Finchem jingles the change in his pocket.
"Listen golf, it's about more than just your traditions. We have corporate sponsors whose needs have to be considered."
"Don't we have the WGC events," golf counters, "which almost no one knows exists, let alone draws them to their t.v.s?" A forced smile breaks across Finchem's face.
"But the Fedex Cup has a $10 million payout. That's big stuff. That's what the people want." Golf scratches its chin.
"So the winner gets a check for $10 million? Well... when you put it like that, it could be exciting." Finchem's smile dissolves.
"No, not exactly. The $10 million is paid out in an annuity."
"An annuity? Like a retirement fund?"
"Yeah." Golf stops dead in its tracks.
"I suppose that's fun to watch... if you're an accountant." Finchem starts sweating.
"You're not hearing me..."
Golf puts its hand up. "If I'm hearing your correctly, you're saying there's a big winner's purse, but the payout is over many years. And you think this will get people to watch me on t.v.?"
"That's the plan."
"But won't people be disappointed when they think they're going to see a huge check handed to the winner, but instead they..." Finchem interrupts.
"No, no, no. No one is going to be disappointed. Look, I don't have time for this. I'm late for my private Fedex corporate flight." He turns to leave, catches himself and turns back. "I don't where you've gotten this new-found "independence," but I don't like it, and it's not helping. Just let me run the show and everything will be fine." Finchem heads off to a waiting limo.
"My therapist was TOTALLY right about Finchem. I can't believe I'm working with this guy," golf mutters under its breath as it walks out towards the first tee.